Thanksgiving with a Spouse Who Is Disabled: Gratitude, Adaptation, and Love
When my husband, Michael, had multiple sclerosis and I was his caregiver, Thanksgiving became a time of increased challenges. Yet, by making accommodations for his changing abilities and needs, and by taking care of myself, too, we found time for reflection, gratitude, and even celebration. I found that being together at Thanksgiving could deepen the bond between us, fostering resilience and redefining what it meant to be thankful.
Of course, physical, logistical, and emotional challenges persist. Everyone’s situation is different. Disabilities can range from physical conditions, such as mobility impairments, to neurological or cognitive issues, such as traumatic brain injuries or conditions like dementia. Each form of disability can affect the way we approach the holiday. One of the first steps is to communicate openly and honestly about what each partner needs and desires.
The essence of Thanksgiving is gratitude, and for couples with a disability, this holiday offers an opportunity to celebrate the deeper lessons of resilience, adaptability, and compassion. Thanksgiving can remind us of the ways our love grows stronger through challenges and the many ways we support and uplift one another.
Despite Thanksgiving’s many challenges, I found that it provided an opportunity for us to deepen our emotional connection. The holiday became a time for us to acknowledge both the difficulties and the joys that came with our shared experiences. We were able to reflect on what we’d learned together over the years. Michael had gratitude for the love and care he’d received from me, and I appreciated his resilience and the strength that he demonstrated daily. By focusing on our shared experiences, we built a stronger emotional foundation and we could celebrate the bond we had nurtured throughout our times of challenge and adversity.
Whatever your situation, Thanksgiving can be a deeply meaningful experience. The holiday can serve as a reminder of the power of your love, resilience, and mutual support. It can become a celebration not just of the food on the table, but of your enduring connection. It is a time to give thanks for the strength we find in one another—no matter the obstacles we face.
Suzanne Marriott’s memoir, Watching for Dragonflies: A Caregiver’s Transformative Journey, brings courage and inspiration to anyone facing a life-changing challenge.
2023 winner of the Living Now Book Awards Bronze Medal for Mature Living/Caregiving.
“A moving story of love, loss, illness, and the beauty that persist.” —Kirkus Reviews
For more information and to read the first chapter, visit www.suzannemarriottauthor.com.
Available online at AMAZON and in bookstores now.